We are so honored to be a part of various stages of the adoption process for those in our community. From those just beginning to consider to expanding their families through adoption to adult adoptees, we hope to offer programming to fit your needs. Today we are privileged to share with you some insights into one of our support groups from the perspective of an active member. If you are interested in learning more, please reach out so we can learn how to best serve you and grow together.
I was 9 years old, walking the aisles of a grocery store with my parents when I confidently stated, “When I’m old, I’m going to become a mommy by adopting.” You can probably imagine the thoughts that went through my parents' heads at that statement:
Old?!?? I wasn’t “old” when you were born!
Wow, my 9-year-old wants to be a mom.
Adoption.
Now fast forward to 18 years later, plenty of time for my parents to have forgotten the conversation, I called my parents on a Tuesday evening:
“Mom, Dad, can you both get on the phone on speaker phone? I want to share some news. I know we told you we were just going to an information session with that agency, but we signed our paperwork today. We’re really doing it!”
My mom immediately brought me back to the first conversation as she shared in the excitement of an 18-year dream starting to become a possibility.
Who am I?
My name is Robyn, my wife is Mackenzie, and we are hopeful adoptive parents. We met in college, while both playing softball as opponents and quickly started dating. We saw each other through tremendous life growth, graduating undergrad, Mackenzie graduating from the police academy, Graduate school for Robyn, adopting our dog, and finally getting married in 2021! With the marriage license in hand, we were finally ready to go forward with something we had talked about in the first few weeks of dating - becoming parents through adoption.
Where are we in the journey toward adoption?
After signing with our agency, our next step was Social Services and the Home Study process. We were eager, still in an emotional high of things moving, but also feeling alone and eager to find others who could understand. When our social worker asked about our tribe and who had adoption relevant experience, we struggled. My grandma was adopted at 1 year old, but that was 92 years ago! We have friends who adopted their daughter in 2018, but they live half the country away. We have a family who supports our journey, but do they really understand adoption? This is when she mentioned ASA.
How has ASA served us?
Being a math and science nerd, the first thing I did was start researching. Who was ASA? How do I get involved? Maybe by chance, more likely by fate, I saw their posting that they were starting a new community support group - Hopeful Adoptive Parents! I immediately signed us up, then told Mackenzie I did… She was eager too, to finally find people who could relate to us. In our first meeting, we felt something we hadn’t since starting our journey - understood. Our peers talked about things we’d felt but weren’t quite sure how to verbalize. There was the intrusiveness of the home study process. The highs and lows of almost matches. The fear of telling too many people. The family who asks too many questions, or maybe worse, the family who ignores it. We try not to let the adoption wait consume our minds, but this freedom to have peers who can relate, to share our story with every month, has been our greatest joy. We’ve seen hopeful adoptive parents turn parents, which has kept our hope alive. We’ve gotten to walk with others in the pain of the waiting. The best, we have fellow cheerleaders in our corner, rooting for us as we root for them.
My hope for you...
For those of you out there, walking a similar journey to us, we’d love to have you join us! These days, we’re meeting via Zoom in our pajamas once a month with some in-person events upcoming! My dog sure is happy to be able to pop in, and I don’t mind an evening with our friends where PJs are the expected attire!!
We can’t wait to meet you! For more information, contact info@adotionsupportalliance.org to receive information about our next group meeting and other great opportunities.